One topic that comes up frequently in my coaching sessions is finding ways to relax, decompress, and reenergize at the end of the day.
Most of us can easily come up with ideas. Read a book. Take a bath. Meditate. Practice yoga. Go for a walk. Listen to music. The list goes on.
We know these activities can help us feel better. We know we need time to recharge.
So why is it so hard to actually do them?
Think About Your Morning Routine
When you wake up in the morning, what do you do?
Maybe you turn off your alarm, get out of bed, brush your teeth, take a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast.
You probably do some version of these things every day. You don’t spend much time debating whether you should brush your teeth or take a shower. You just do them.
Over time, these activities have become part of your routine. They’re habits. They’re also ways you take care of yourself.
Of course, mornings aren’t always easy. Sometimes we’re rushing, tired, or already thinking about everything we need to accomplish. But even on those mornings, we generally find a way to do the basics.
We’ve made space for taking care of ourselves at the beginning of the day.
So what happens at the end of the day?
Why Does Everything Feel Harder at Night?
Think about everything that happens between getting out of bed and getting ready to go back to sleep.
Work. Meetings. Decisions. Family responsibilities. Errands. Unexpected problems. Other people’s needs.
By the time evening arrives, we’ve spent much of the day giving our time, attention, and energy to everything and everyone around us.
And then we tell ourselves we should do something for our own well-being.
I should read instead of watching television.
I should do some yoga.
I should meditate before bed.
I should spend less time on my phone.
Notice how often the word should appears.
Suddenly, the very things that are supposed to help us relax feel like more obligations.
One more thing to accomplish. One more expectation to meet. One more opportunity to feel like we haven’t done enough.
And when we’re already exhausted, even something enjoyable can feel like too much effort.
What If We Stopped Treating Self-Care Like a Task?
Maybe the challenge isn’t that we don’t know how to take care of ourselves.
Maybe it’s that we haven’t made room for it in the same way we’ve made room for our morning routines.
And maybe we’ve started thinking about self-care as something we should do rather than something we want to experience.
What would happen if we approached our evenings differently?
Instead of asking, “What should I do tonight to take care of myself?” what if we asked:
“What would help me feel good right now?”
The answer might be different every night.
Some evenings, you might want to curl up with a book. Other evenings, stretching for ten minutes might feel wonderful. Maybe you want to sit quietly with a cup of tea, listen to your favorite music, or spend a few minutes outside.
And sometimes, what you really need is to do absolutely nothing.
That’s okay, too.
Self-care doesn’t have to be productive. It doesn’t have to be impressive. And it certainly doesn’t have to look the same for everyone.
Making Self-Care Part of Your Evening Routine
Think about how your morning habits developed. You probably didn’t establish all of them at once. Over time, they became connected to other things you were already doing.
What if we took the same approach at night?
Instead of creating an elaborate evening routine that requires thirty minutes, special equipment, or a tremendous amount of motivation, start with something small.
Maybe after brushing your teeth, you spend five minutes reading.
Maybe after dinner, you take a short walk.
Maybe when you change into comfortable clothes, you put on music that helps you unwind.
Or maybe you simply sit quietly for a few minutes before turning on the television.
The activity itself isn’t nearly as important as the experience it creates.
The goal isn’t to create a perfect evening routine. It’s to create a moment you genuinely look forward to.
And when something makes us feel good, we’re more likely to want to do it again.
That’s how a small act of self-care can begin to become a habit.
Give Yourself Permission to Experiment
One of the things I love about coaching is helping people explore what works for them, rather than what they think they’re supposed to do.
If you’ve tried meditation and don’t enjoy it, you don’t have to meditate.
If yoga feels like exercise rather than relaxation, find something else.
If reading puts you to sleep after two pages, maybe that’s exactly what you need!
There’s no single right way to recharge.
And you don’t have to commit to doing the same thing every night for the rest of your life.
Start by experimenting.
Try something for a few evenings. Notice how you feel afterward. Do you feel calmer? More relaxed? More connected to yourself? Does it help you transition from the demands of the day to a more peaceful evening?
If it does, wonderful. If it doesn’t, try something different.
You get to decide what caring for yourself looks like.
A Question to Take With You Tonight
Before you settle into your usual evening routine, take a moment to consider:
- What do I typically do at the end of the day?
- Which parts of my evening actually help me feel restored?
- What am I doing out of habit that doesn’t really serve me?
- What’s one small thing I could add to my evening that I would genuinely enjoy?
And perhaps most importantly:
What would it feel like to end my day with the same intention to care for myself that I bring to the beginning of it?
We spend so much of our days taking care of responsibilities, meeting expectations, and responding to the needs of others.
We deserve to make room for ourselves, too.
Not because it’s another thing we should do.
But because we deserve to feel good.
Sunshine Core Energy Coaching™
Sometimes the hardest part of making a change isn’t knowing what to do. It’s understanding what’s getting in the way.
Coaching creates space to explore your habits, expectations, and priorities so you can make choices that support the life you want to live.
If you’re ready to explore what that could look like for you, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session at sunshinecec.com.