I Thought This Was Hocus Pocus

Reframing.
Shifting your energy.
Choosing how you show up.

Blah, blah, blah.

Honestly? That’s exactly what it sounded like to me.

It felt like a bunch of phrases people say when they want to sound insightful but don’t actually have anything useful to offer.

If things at work aren’t going well, no amount of reframing is going to fix a broken system.
If a relationship is struggling, shifting my “energy” isn’t going to suddenly make it healthy.
And “choose how you show up”? That just sounded like something people say when they want to put the responsibility back on you without actually solving anything.

So I didn’t just question it—I dismissed it.

Why I Didn’t Believe It

Because from where I was sitting, the problems were real.

Work was frustrating.
There were things that didn’t make sense.
Decisions that weren’t getting made.
Barriers that only certain people had the power to move—and they weren’t moving them.

No amount of mindset work was going to change that.

And in relationships—it’s not like you can just “shift your energy” and suddenly the other person shows up differently. That’s not how it works.

So when I heard all of this language, it felt disconnected from reality.

It felt like… fluff.

Blah, blah, blah.

What I Had Wrong

What I didn’t understand at the time is that none of this is about fixing the situation.

That’s where I was stuck.

I thought:

• If this works, the situation should improve
• If the situation doesn’t improve, then this doesn’t work

Simple.

Except… that’s not what this is designed to do.

This isn’t about controlling outcomes.
It’s about changing how you engage with what’s happening.

And that’s a very different thing.

What This Actually Is (Without the Fluff)

This is about being intentional.
And being present.

Not positive. Not optimistic. Not “looking on the bright side.”

Intentional.

Because when you’re not intentional, you’re reacting.

And when you’re reacting, you don’t even realize how automatic it is.

You’re:

• replaying the same thoughts
• having the same frustrations
• approaching the same problems in the same way
• and getting the same results

Over and over.

I didn’t realize how much of my day was spent in that loop.

The Moment It Started to Click

There wasn’t some big breakthrough.

It was smaller than that.

I started noticing how I was walking into situations—especially at work.

Already frustrated.
Already expecting resistance.
Already assuming how things were going to go.

And then… surprise… they went exactly that way.

Not because I caused it.
But because I was participating in it in a very predictable way.

That was uncomfortable to see.

The Shift

The shift isn’t in the situation.

It’s in how you engage with it.

If something at work isn’t working, reframing doesn’t mean pretending it is.

It means slowing down just enough to ask:

• What is actually happening here?
• What part of this is mine to own?
• Where do I have influence—and where don’t I?
• What is this situation asking of me right now?

Those questions aren’t fluffy.

They’re clarifying.

And clarity changes how you move.

“Choose How You Show Up” (Yes, I Know…)

This one used to bother me the most.

It felt like the ultimate “blah, blah, blah” phrase.

Now I see it differently.

It doesn’t mean you can control everything.
It doesn’t mean the situation will magically improve.
It doesn’t mean other people will suddenly behave differently.

It means you are not walking in on autopilot.

You’re choosing:

• Do I walk into this conversation defensive?
• Do I walk in already frustrated?
• Or do I walk in grounded, clear on what matters, and focused on what I can actually influence?

Same meeting. Same people. Same issues.

But a very different experience.

And often—a very different outcome.

Let’s Be Very Clear

This does not fix everything.

Some systems are broken.
Some relationships aren’t healthy.
Some environments will not change, no matter how skilled or self-aware you are.

This work won’t change that.

But it will make it a lot harder to ignore it.

Because when you’re present and intentional, you see things more clearly.

You see:

• what’s working
• what’s not
• what’s within your control
• and what isn’t

And from that place, your decisions get better.

What Actually Changed for Me

The biggest shift wasn’t becoming more positive.

It was becoming more aware of how I was showing up.

I stopped trying to feel better.
I stopped trying to “fix” everything in my head.

And I started asking a different question:

How do I want to show up in this?

Not:

• How do I make this easier?
• How do I get them to change?
• How do I make this go away?

Just:

How do I want to show up?

That question cuts through a lot of noise.

It doesn’t deny reality.
It meets reality—and gives you a choice.

So No… It’s Not Hocus Pocus

It’s not about pretending.
It’s not about forcing positivity.
It’s not about repeating things that sound good but don’t actually help.

It’s about being present enough to see what’s real…
and intentional enough to choose what you do next.

That’s it.

No magic.
No fluff.
No blah, blah, blah.

If This Sounds Familiar…

If you’ve ever found yourself rolling your eyes at all of this the way I did…
but also feeling stuck, frustrated, or like you’re having the same experience on repeat—

you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to jump all the way to “believing” in any of this.

Sometimes it just starts with being willing to pause…
and ask a different question.

If you’re curious what that could look like for you, I’m always open to a conversation.

No pressure. No fluff. Definitely no blah, blah, blah.